The Hidden Harm of Social Media - 5 Conversations To Have With Young People To Help Them (And Us!)

The world of social media is a particularly perilous for young people and it can feel impossible for the adults in their lives to keep up. The things children see online can have insidious and subtle effects on their developing worldviews. Mentors, parents or other responsible adults in a child’s life can help tackle this problem, but they need to know what they’re up against.  

"Boys expect us to be like the Bop House." 

This is a comment from a Year 7 girl - aged 11 or 12, in their first year of senior school. 

Don’t worry if you’re thinking “what the heck is the Bop House?” - we hadn't heard of it either until a few weeks ago. The Bop House is a luxury penthouse in Miami, where a dozen or so young women make videos together. These videos are posted to OnlyFans, a website best known for explicit, ‘members only’ content. 

The Bop House also has 3.5 million followers on TikTok, a social media platform with mostly young users. The videos posted to the social media platform could be regarded as relatively harmless – the girls are doing silly dances, trying on new outfits, showing off their cuddly toys, that sort of thing. 

However, these seemingly innocuous videos teach dangerous lessons: bodies are currency and popularity hinges on appearance. Girls learn their value is measured by looks. Boys learn to see girls as existing for their attention and objectification. Beneath the harmless fun, there is a growing ‘creator funnel’ from relatively innocent TikTok posts to the adult content on OnlyFans – and the Bop House is just one example. 

As a mentor or guardian, what can you do? 

1. Talk about it. Ask mentees what they’re seeing online. Invite honesty, then listen, stay curious, and avoid judgment. 
2. Name the issue. Some content can foster negative or discriminatory views, even if it looks fun or silly. Help mentees spot the difference between positive and harmful messages. 
3. Challenge stereotypes. Encourage mentees to question and reflect on how people are portrayed on screen. 
4. Set boundaries. Collaborate on healthy habits for social media and smartphones. 
5. Share ideas. Awareness of these issues is growing – does your mentee have recommendations for you? 

The time may come when social media is regulated, the way that cigarettes, alcohol and gambling are regulated – but that's certainly not the case today. Until then, we all share the responsibility to have honest conversations with young people about the realities behind the screens. 

By raising their awareness, you empower your mentee to see beyond the surface and recognise this content for what it truly is - a deliberate attempt to shape their beliefs and manipulate their behaviour. 

Begin the conversation today, to help safeguard their wellbeing tomorrow.